by Isn’t it an amazing gift that we have the power to affect someone’s life through our own words and actions?
Think about that for a few seconds. You actually have the potential to help build up a beautiful world in someone’s life or contribute to tearing it down. We can show someone that they are valuable and that their life is truly significant, or we can devalue them and make them feel worthless, by our words and even by our silence, in many situations. In social, emotional, and spiritual terms, we have a great power, but as with any great power, it all depends on what you use it for that determines who you are, who you will be, and how you value others.
“… Great responsibility follows inseparably from great power.” – Unknown Author (1793)
So we all have the ability but how often is it shown through our actions? We can tell someone that they are valuable all day long but if our actions don’t back it up, what are we really doing?
Helping or Hurting
When I say ‘You have the power to affect someone’s life through your words and actions’, is there someone that immediately comes to mind? It’s easy to see that “it’s not about us” and yet, at the same time, we’re affecting ourselves, sometimes much more deeply than we know.
Hypothetically, let’s say a loved one has a passion for painting, and you say to them “Your work is amazing! I’m so proud of you! I support you all the way!”, You’re obviously building them up, reinforcing their passions and letting them know they are loved. That’s great! Now, when the time comes around that they have a showing of their work, are you there? If they paint a “not-so-good” piece, do you stay silent? Many of us would encourage that person anyway, and be there for them at important moments (again, this is just an example) but what about those who don’t show up, don’t encourage, don’t support, or don’t even simply show love? Those things affect everyone involved. Not only by our words or lack of words, or by our presence or absence are we affecting their lives in a negative way, we’re affecting ours as well. For them, the questions in their mind might become “How much do they really care?”, “Do they even ACTUALLY like my work?”, “Am I any good?”. Immediately, self-worth could be assessed, strength of the relationship could be assessed, and then even your integrity could be assessed. Those actions plant seeds of doubt and grow up weeds of discord.
It is so important that we back up our talk with our walk.
But Life…
Life… *sigh*. When floating through the day, it’s so easy to be consumed with “I have to do this”, “I have to do that”. When do we stop to take a breath and just look around? Is it even important enough to us to take time out of our day to do?
When we consider that we have power to project life, love, and encouragement into someone’s world, then we also have to acknowledge our ability to steal that life away, to discourage their perception of love, and tear down self-esteem, whether intentional or not.
Often, we can go through a day rarely thinking about the underlying repercussions of our words or actions. There’s a saying that you’ve probably heard before, “Never assume you know what someone is going through”. That’s an incredibly true statement, right? But it can also work the same way if we are careless as well. If we are careless about what someone is or isn’t going through we’ve already chosen to remove what potential good we could do for that person’s life.
By caring and assuming that we don’t know what others might be going through, it allows us to put ourselves in the mindset of treating each other with more love and respect.
“It’s wise to assume that you know less, that way you’re open to learning more.” – Chris Kairos
Love Is Golden
Remember the good ol’ golden rule? “… Do to others what you would have them do to you…” – Matthew 7:12. Just like most of us have learned this principle throughout life in one way or another, we learn so many things as we grow and go through our own experiences. Most of us have been taught the golden rule from a young age (for good reason) but if the application of the golden rule were an educational course or a personal assessment of our day-to-day lives, how many of us would actually pass?
What’s interesting is that many people use the golden rule throughout their lives never knowing that it was out of the mouth of Jesus Christ himself. It really is one heck of a rule! It packs so much into such a small message. If we dig a little deeper, in Matthew 7:9-14 we can see the ‘rhyme’ and the ‘reason’…
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
To fully understand all of this we have to first understand in verses 7 and 8 that Jesus has His heart open wide, waiting for us to come to Him and “knock”, by our own will, never forcing us. In that alone we see how He Himself is being an example of the golden rule. Would we honestly want to force someone to love us? It wouldn’t even be love. YHWH is a God of genuine love, in wait of our willful submission, as a loving husband to his wife or a loving wife to her husband, not a God of forceful servitude. In verses 9 thru 11, Jesus is simply restating that He/God loves us and wants good for us.
Balance and Grace
Verse 12 is a key and a mirror. The golden rule is a golden solution for a world full of problems. It has been taught in many different ways since the beginning of time, even from the “Law and the Prophets” as it says. Many times His love is like a reflection, you get what you give. An excellent example of balance. Yet, He also meets us with compassion and love, even when we don’t deserve it. An excellent example of grace. So it’s wise to ask ourselves “What are we reflecting on a daily basis?”.
As the verses continue in 13 and 14, He blatantly tells us that it will not be easy… because it’s not, and He knows it. If there is one thing we can all agree on, it’s that we will NEVER be perfect, for ourselves or anyone else, no matter how hard we try. The beauty of it all is that God doesn’t expect us to be perfect but He also doesn’t tell us not to TRY (just like a loving husband tries to be better every day for his wife or a loving wife tries to be better every day for her husband). Instead, He tells us how to beat the odds. Again, because He loves us even through all of our imperfections, and although it’s hard, He wants us to succeed. So how perfect is it to love one another, just as He showed us through the golden rule?
Our “Brothers Keeper”
We can all talk a tough talk and even walk a tough walk but regardless of our strength or frailty this fact remains true, that we are worth something or we wouldn’t be here in the first place.
For a quick example, let’s go back to one of the oldest stories ever told… In the story of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4), when God asks “Where is Abel?”, Cain replies “Am I my brothers keeper?”. Cain instinctually knew the answer to that question was yes, but he uttered it anyway. By God asking Cain where Abel was, it was implied that Cain should know, and by Cain knowing, it would show some level of care or concern for his brother Abel. We were made to care for one another, but when our selfishness kicks in we just become a bi-product of our own carelessness.
What If?
What if we strived to be better than that? What if we made a conscious effort every single day to not settle for the “status quo”? What if we truly did to others what we would have them do to us? What if we loved intentionally and cared genuinely? Do you believe we could make a difference? We have been given a gift of power to build up or to tear down, to speak life into another or to take it, to plant seeds and help them grow or to trample them. Let’s accept the responsibility that comes with a power we don’t deserve, yet was freely given. Let’s do the best we can to use our lives for good, the way it was intended, and be a part of the solution in a world full of problems.
Shalom (Peace)
